Life journal 1

They always ask me “Why didn’t you talk to anyone?”, “Why are you so quiet?”. I just tell them that “Because I don’t fit in with the people around me.”, and then they look at me with eyes full of surprise.

I have actually thought that I had to change at some point, when the teacher told me to come out of my shell. I tried to, but later realized that I couldn’t. I didn’t feel comfortable with it at all. And then when I came to university, I set out my goal to be more active and sociable by joining some clubs, but it also a failure since I couldn’t find any thing that could interest me. Everyone around me is so enthusiastic, yet I can’t seem to make myself move and join the crowd. I don’t even feel comfortable with teamwork, and it just sucks. I actually afraid that if I keep on like this, I might fall behind. I feel as if something was wrong with me, and it needed to be fixed.

But then when I’m older, I realize that is not the case. Even though I don’t have that many friends, but those friends I have, each of them see me as who I am, an introvert. While people don’t see me in the crowd, they always do. When I do stuffs with them, I feel free. The people closest to my are extroverts, but we get along just fine. I figure out that no, there is nothing wrong with me, it’s just simply that I haven’t found my place in the new environment yet…or maybe I won’t at all. Sometimes it feels like there aren’t many place for introverts to go to, when everything is moving extrovert. Even at my school, they promote active teamwork which I feel hard to breathe. I could hardly like anything in the school, which ultimately drives away my concentration and passion for studying…

Sigh… I just wish that people take introverts more seriously than this, because we can do more given the right place…

[ Probably should go and buy Quiet… ]

Cover photo belongs to NanoMortis.




2 thoughts on “INTROVERT

    1. Thanks for commenting on my blog. Yeah I know that now, is just that there aren’t many place for us to be able to do exactly what we do best. And teamwork may actually be helpful if people know how we work and respect that.

      Liked by 1 person

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