Life journal 14

I thought I my first days of new year would be filled with the same delighted feeling I felt before stepping into the next year.

But now…

Why do I feel so empty, so numb…?

Even with all the guests coming to the house, wishing for a wonderful year to come, I couldn’t bring myself to be happy or to even care about it.

Even when my father asked if I want to go with him to my relatives’ place, I couldn’t feel joy in it.

It’s scary, the feeling of nothingness, then it becomes painful when you see everyone else is enjoying their time so much, how happy they are in this first days…

Why couldn’t I feel the same…?

Why do I always feel like sleeping all day, ignoring the world around me…

I just wish that I could have fun like everyone else, not just stay here and try to distract myself from all the negative thoughts.

Why is it so hard to feel happy now…

My father wished me to be stronger in the coming year.

I doubt that I could do it…

Knowing how I am right now…

[ Cover image belongs to the rightful artist ]


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