MINDLESS THINKING

Life journal 22

I wish…

That I was born an extrovert.

That I would be like everyone else,

Be out-going, be talkative, be confident.

That I would like the same things everyone does,

So that I don’t have to feel lonely in a crowd.

That I would like to speak, and would speak better

That anxiety and depression would be gone.

And I wish I wouldn’t feel shy anymore

Wouldn’t be too sensitive toward everything.

Wouldn’t have so many peculiar interests…

Or at least compare to the most of the people.

So that I won’t have to hear things like…

“Why don’t you talk to anyone?”

“She only likes the weirdest thing.”

I just wish to be the same as everyone else…

Then I won’t have to worry about too many things anymore.

But…

If they all came true…

I would lose my ability to write like this…

Actually, I think I wouldn’t even be able to think like this.

The way I interact with the world…

I would have to give it up too.

The sympathy of a listener that lies inside me,

The beautiful art gallery that I’m so proud of

Or the melodies that not everyone knows…

And this mind that never stop imagining

These worlds, these stories that I built myself…

All the pages I have written…

Would be all gone…

I would lose this very “me” that is different…

And so…

This never-ending battle was created…

“What should I be…”

[Cover image belongs to the rightful artist. ]

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