DREAMS

Life journal 30 It has been a long while since I last had a decent dream about real life. Strangely enough, because it was not a bad dream, it even made me feel worse when I woke up. The thing with bad dream is, even though it’s not a nightmare, it’s already so bad that … More DREAMS

LIES

Random 6 How many times can you lie until you break? Well, it would be a pretty big number I guess… Then how many times can you lie after you have shattered? Apparently, a lot, or maybe too many… Until I am not here anymore… Why would you do that… I don’t know… Maybe I … More LIES

DETACHED

Life journal 29 Sometimes, I find myself in a strangely selfish position… When you help someone, it is true that you probably don’t need anything in return. However, you still sometimes expect that they do, maybe just some small things which are nice just like what you have done for them. Ironically enough, that expectation … More DETACHED

PARANOIA

Life journal 28 There is always this voice in my head, saying all the worst things even when the smallest misfortune happen… “Oh, because everyone will leave you again.” “You know that I am not wrong.” “You are both annoying and boring at the same time.” Although I don’t exactly suffer from the mental illness … More PARANOIA

MASK

Random 5 For so long, you have been with me, Through tragedy, betrayal and pain. For too long, you have stayed with me, To cover, to protect and to lie. “It’s okay.” You say. “Just keep me alive.” “In return, you’ll be safe from harm.” Such luring words, how could I turn down… Letting it … More MASK

PATCHED WINGS

Life journal 27 Ahh… So I have left, the place I used to think that would be my very first stepping stone into my future… An admirable university that used to make my proud of myself. Which only kills me inside… Just when I thought that I had somewhat made at least one of my … More PATCHED WINGS

THE OTHER ROAD

Life journal 26 “Why are you leaving your school?” “How come? You are studying in the university that so many people dream to be in.” “With this score and this school, why are you leaving? Maybe you should think about it again.” Few days ago, when I was eating my lunch, a university which I … More THE OTHER ROAD

STOP

Life journal 25 Just for one moment… When you were preoccupying yourself, When you just finished a book or a movie that motivated you to keep on going, When you were working, When you were not “thinking”, You thought you were fine. Telling yourself “you can beat your own monster” And your nightmare would be … More STOP

HIGH SCHOOL

Life journal 24 Saying “I like my high school.” would be a lie, because I never actually like it. For so many times, I have said “I hate it.”, and I did mean it. Well, nobody really likes exams, deadlines and such, don’t they? However, without doubt, My three years in high school have been … More HIGH SCHOOL

WHY I WRITE

Life journal 23 If I really think about it, I notice that I have never actually found any satisfied answer. Why do I write? May it be to express my feelings ? For relaxation ? Or just for fun ? I used to think that the reason was because I could escape from reality when … More WHY I WRITE

DISTRACTION

Random 2 Every morning, she wakes up at noon. Turning on her laptop, putting on some music. Then starts the daily routine of “distracting herself” May that be spending hours playing game, Practicing violin, writing stories, Reading books or manga, Watching movies and animes… Anything that keeps her away from thinking. From acknowledging the world … More DISTRACTION

MINDLESS THINKING

Life journal 22 I wish… That I was born an extrovert. That I would be like everyone else, Be out-going, be talkative, be confident. That I would like the same things everyone does, So that I don’t have to feel lonely in a crowd. That I would like to speak, and would speak better That … More MINDLESS THINKING

THE SAD WALTZ

Life journal 21 Softly touch the wooden floor Trying to remember the old feelings They start to move, slowly and clumsily With the melody singing in the heart. As they trip, stumble, then fall Their skins go red and comes the nostalgic pain Along with the memories of those good old days When they could … More THE SAD WALTZ

MY BEST FRIEND

Life journal 20 It was a Sunday morning if my memory isn’t wrong… “Have you waken up yet?” “I have…” *Yawn* “Good good. When will you come and pick me up?” “Uh…in 30 minutes.” “Okay. I will be waiting.” Beep. And then about 45 minutes later, I saw somebody outside of the door as my … More MY BEST FRIEND

MUSIC

Life journal 19 It is just…a wonderful thing that I have in my crappy life. I listen to quite a lot of different types of music, from the softest melody to the “crazy” dark songs that I cannot resist sometimes. It’s my encouragement, my means of comfort, and maybe also something that still keeps me…sane … More MUSIC

EMPTINESS

Life journal 17 There was once when she was filled with flair, For the teachers who taught her told so “You can go further than you ever know Because you’ve already had it inside your heart.” She was delighted, elated, and grateful For all the things that they have gave her. Time passed by, and … More EMPTINESS

SENSITIVITY

Life journal 16 I have only heard of the term “Highly sensitive person” ( HSP ) not too long ago. Before that, I have always thought I have some kind of a mental problem in controlling my emotions. I couldn’t remember since when I had become so sensitive toward…almost everything. I’m not talking about “tearing … More SENSITIVITY